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Eh Used Car Salesman!
Not only did your dealership sell me a lemon used car, but you made me go through hell and back to get you to do something about it. In a two-month period, I came back to you 12 times as my lemon fell...
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Eh Guy Who Threw Away Perfectly Good Snorkel Gear!
We get it that you don’t care. You’re the person who throws away two snorkel sets (tags still on the bag) into the trash can in the men’s room at a Ka’anapali resort. This is wrong on so many levels....
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Eh Thousand Peaks Drone Operator!
I was out surfing at Ukumehame (Thousand Peaks), enjoying a quiet and peaceful morning riding waves. That is, until I heard an annoying buzzing coming from your low flying helicopter drone filming us...
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Eh Homophobic Restaurant Customer!
Eh, Brah! I could tell by your booming voice, blond buzz-cut and tucked-in polo shirt that you have an inflated sense of importance, but did you really have to advertise your disgusting homophobia at...
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Thanks Superette People!
Eh guy who was in line in front of me at the Pukalani Superette: my newborn was crying and I had to take her out of her seat. You offered to empty my cart for me. Mahalo! And to the employee who saw...
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Eh Thoughtless Hippies!
To the hippies I had the displeasure of sitting next to on the plane: First, what do you find so wrong with showering? You smelled like rotting mold and I had to endure it for nearly six hours....
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Eh Screaming Lady!
Eh screaming lady in the Lahaina Banyan Tree park! Every single night for the last several weeks we’ve listened to you hollering at the top of your lungs, vomiting epithets that would embarrass a...
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Eh, It’s MauiTime’s Annual Eh Brah Binge Issue!
We call this the Aloha State, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s nice to each other. Most people out here give friends, relatives and strangers a decent break, but we all know some lying, cheating,...
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Eh, Stop Taking Your Dogs To Baby Beach!
To the multitudes of people who take their dogs to Baby Beach, and then let them run off the leash…. ugh! How come you think it’s appropriate to let your dogs run up to strangers to sniff, shake,...
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Eh Coffee Shop!
Eh coffee shop–ever heard of Karma? The way you treat your employees and customers is bound to come back to you. One step in that shop is liable to give you some unknown disease! Mahalo for showing...
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Eh Rotten Dog Owner!
To my neighbor who leaves his sad and bored looking dog tied up on a short chain in his front yard all the time. Why did you get a dog in the first place? A dog is not a lawn ornament or a home...
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Eh Hookipa Peeping Tom!
Eh, you with the telephoto lens pointed at all the pretty little 14-year old girls in the tide pools at Ho’okipa: Shame on you, you filthy old lecher! Those are our daughters and sisters! We see you...
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Eh Loud Music Lover!
Eh! I was sitting down at Pohaku Park when you pulled up. There was beyond-loud rap music screaming from your car’s speakers. A few braddahs and I were enjoying the sunset and talking among ourselves...
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Eh Recycling Thief!
Eh, you in the white truck that I saw stealing recycling on Ainakea Road at 3am. Stop terrorizing our neighborhood! I’m pretty sure that it was you who stole two of my recycling bins two weeks ago and...
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Eh Thoughtless Parents!
Eh brah and sista, too: What are you thinking leaving your three to five-year-old keiki alone at the beach while you go catch a wave, go to the bathroom, get a coffee or whatever you did? Your child...
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Eh Rotten Driver!
Eh person in the maroon pickup with a half bondo grey tailgate: obviously, Driver’s Ed was not mandatory when you got a license (assuming you actually have one). Next time you’re tailgating, honking,...
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Eh Crazy Caller!
Eh Brah! You called my business the other day to place an order. No idea what I was thinking when I tried to engage you in friendly conversations (without even knowing you in person). you told me the...
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Eh Crazy Hit And Run Driver!
You sideswiped my truck in my own driveway when the family was in town for doctor appointments and you didn’t even leave a note. You drive a white vehicle and your front left fender must be damaged....
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Eh Shameless Dad!
To the guy who shows up regularly at McDonald’s with his young children in tow: How dare you use your children as props to beg for money. One child is in even in a stroller. It’s really hard to...
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Eh Puppy Killer!
Eh brah! You sealed NINE three-week-old puppies in a trash bag and dumped them somewhere in a field in Kula to die. Do you know what’s worse than failing to fix your dog and then dropping nine puppies...
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